I Can’t Wait To Retire So I Can Do Stuff Like This.

MY LAST TRIP TO COSTCO.

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant?

So since I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle’s ass and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Costco won’t let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

* J. Frawley, Sr.

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S.O.T.U.

Imagine that our country is the Titanic and we have just run into the iceberg. Does anyone else find it strange that Barry seems to think it is appropriate to speak for 62 mins about getting new deck chairs?

Yes, ‘We The People’ are morons for listening and accepting his pathetic behavior. We deserve what we get. Please Barry, make it swift and painless. I don’t want to see any more.

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

* J. Frawley, Sr.

The Cheesehead Prayer.

Now I lay me down to bed
A wedge of cheese upon my head

Allegiance to the Packers I promise to keep
and cheer them on while I’m asleep.

If I should die, don’t let me wonder
,Just bury me neath the frozen tundra.

But, Lord, before you take my soul,
Let me see the Pack in one more Super Bowl.

Forgive me Lord, for those I hated,
The Lions and Vikings, they’re overrated.

The streets of heaven, so I’ve been told,
Are paved for us in green and gold.

If I get to heaven I’ll have only one wish,
A big screen TV with a satellite dish

I pray for this Lord, for only one reason,
to cheer on my Pack to a winning season.

I’ll close this prayer by thanking you Lord,
for listening to me and the time you afford.

But one more thing……please remember the Bears,
Because that’s a team that hasn’t a prayer!!!

I’m just sayin’…

* J. Frawley, Sr.

The World’s Largest Army.

In WWII, Japan ‘s highest ranking naval officer was Isoruku Yamamoto. Although he was Japanese, and his loyalties were unquestionably with The Empire, he studied for many years in America, graduating from Harvard University. There is an oft-repeated (and sometimes disputed) quote attributed to him regarding the possibility of any nation taking a war to American soil: “You cannot invade the mainland United States . There would be a rifle behind every blade of grass.”

Here is why he was correct: America’s Hunters. The World’s Largest Army.

The state of Wisconsin has gone an entire deer hunting season without someone getting killed. That’s great, considering there were over 600,000 hunters that got permits this year.

Allow me to restate that number. Over the last two months, the eighth largest army in the world – more men under arms than Iran ; more than France and Germany combined – deployed to the woods of a single American state to keep the deer population under control. But that pales in comparison to the 750,000 who are in the woods of Pennsylvania this week. Michigan ‘s 700,000 hunters have now returned home. Toss in a quarter million hunters in West Virginia , and it is literally the case that the hunters of those four states alone would comprise the largest army in the world of what is frequently called untrained, unskilled, careless killers… and no one was killed. And that is just FOUR states.

The total population of registered hunters in America today ranges from 23 million to 43.7 million individuals. (Based on annual data provided by the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service.)

As long as the American Hunter retains his right to Bear Arms, America will forever be safe from foreign invasion of troops. Hunting – it’s not just a way to fill the freezer. It’s a matter of national security.

Always protect your right to own guns and bear arms, and beware the current movement to ban gun powder. Without gun powder, the gun is useless.

* J. Frawley, Sr.

Wisconsin Love story.

I’ve just heard from a friend in Central Wisconsin. He says it has been snowing heavily for three days now.

His wife has done nothing but stare through the window. If it doesn’t stop soon he will probably have to let her in. ‬ I’m just sayin’…

* J. Frawley, Sr.